Word Up, Wild Kratts!
by RigorMorticius
Summary: Upon hearing about another group of villains, Zach, Gourmand, and Donita plan to recruit their help in dealing with the Wild Kratts. In exchange, they'll help with the others' hero problem. Will Word Girl and the Wild Kratts be able to handle them all?
1. Chapter 1

Suni and me have had this idea for a while, but neither of us knew exactly how to get it off the ground. Every time we started to write this, it came off as weird, didn't mesh right, or was just downright stupid. I think I've found the answer. Details are detailed below. Also, you guys may be confused as to Word Girl's age.

-She was ten and a half when the show started.  
>-Within the first month- this may have even been the debut episode- Word Girl celebrated a birthday. Since she was already ten and a half, this makes her eleven. (This may not have happened in-series, but it did in this story. Also, since this is a Word GirlWild Kratts crossover, let's not let the other faction spoil anything for the other show's viewers, eh?)  
>-Recently, she celebrated another birthday in "Be Careful What You Wish For" (I think that was the title, but I can't remember). Since she turned eleven (like two years ago, "lol") already, this makes her twelve.<p>

Just to clarify:  
>All the children in Word Girl of comparable age are twelve. Also:<br>-I've reverted Chris and Martin to their Kratt's Creatures ages of 25 (Chris) and 29 (Martin). Suni has them at 23 and 27 most of the time, but I think she did the math wrong (quite likely).  
>-I've always assumed Zach to be of comparable age to the Kratts. Given he was almost as tall as Martin was when they showed the childhood flashback in "Tazzy Chris", I'd put him at around 26-28. I have him at the happy medium of 27.<br>-Donita, I've always though, is a bit older, perhaps 30-35. Dabio; I can't really tell. He's too childish.  
>-Gourmand is clearly older, probably 45-55.<br>-Given the maturity and confidence levels displayed by the Wild Kratts crew, I'd say Jimmy is about 18-21, Aviva is 21-25, and Koki is around 25-30.

There are too many Word Girl characters for which to list ages; and the only really important ages are the ages of the children anyhow, since in Word Girl, those are the only ages given. (And only for Word Girl and Tobey at that.)

Also, Suni is from South Carolina, and she gave me some Southern grammar tips a few years back, so I hope nobody thinks I went too far with Gourmand. I'm just trying to make him as authentic as possible… also, she pointed out to me some stuff about Gourmand and Chris, and I took it and ran with it. Nothing gross, just Gourmand's usual style of creep and horror. Oh, and he's not supposed to be gay, just creepy. (Or maybe he is in the show, and they just can't say it out loud, who knows?)

Anyhow, I talk too much. I should let you guys read now.

* * *

><p>"God, what an incompetent loser," Said the man whence he was hiding.<p>

Once again, Word Girl had Amazing Rope Guy suspended, wrangled by his own rope. He groaned in disappointment while the heroin and her sidekick smiled and gave each other approving nods.

"So, Amazing Rope Guy, ready to go to jail? Again? For, like, the umpteenth time?"

Without waiting for an answer, she hauled him off herself. The figure in the shadows gave a cogitative hum.

"Hmmm. Kung fu monkey, eh?" He laughed to himself, already planning his next… plan.

Elsewhere, Word Girl and her "kung fu monkey", Captain Huggy Face, relaxed in their secret space ship hideout. She sipped at a boxed juice while he dug into a bowl of pretzels, barely attentive to the Pretty Princess rerun on the television.

"Well, that was easy," She said. Huggy squeaked in concurrence with his mouth full of pretzel mush. She giggled, snorting afterwards.

"Just enough action to keep us entertained, but easy enough so it's not a lot of work, ya know?" Huggy gave her a thumbs up, chewing on another handful of pretzels.

"Although, something didn't seem right." She put her hand to her chin thoughtfully. Huggy swallowed his pretzels and chirped quizzically.

"I don't know. I can't quite put my finger on it, but something seemed odd." Huggy chirruped three times.

"No, I don't think it was a set up… I can't really explain it. Oh well, must not be anything to worry about, then." The simian also shrugged as they turned back to the episode of PPMPPH.

"Oh, this just gets better and better," Said the same figure, now hiding in a tree, having followed them back to their hideout. He chuckled to himself lowly.

"That little girl doesn't know about the GPS transmitter tag I placed on her when she wasn't looking! What with that rope guy being so dumb, he had her standing still long enough that it was a breeze!"

He leaned back as he guffawed to himself, but went back too far and flailed for a moment as he lost his balance, falling out of the tree. He quickly stood and dusted himself off, looking around to make sure no one saw him.

"I'm alright… Uh, you guys didn't see that. Come on…"

He simply led his trio of cohorts away as he walked back to whence he came.

At the next villain convention, a mere week later, she waited for them to get started. Nothing like a fashionably late entrance to spice things up! The plan was to get in with them all and put a stop to those Wild Kratts for good.

"Just think of it, Dabio, with all those villains in there outnumbering those Kratts by almost 6:1, we're sure not to fail. Then, we're all free to do what we want- including all of them!" Donita cackled to herself, but stopped when Dabio just stood there.

"Well?"

"Well what, Donita?"

"Don't you think the plan is ingenious?"

"Uh… okay."

She only smacked her forehead.

"Oh forget it, let's just crash this party."

"Okay."

He pushed the door open roughly, attracting all the attention on themselves.

"Hey! Who do you two think you are?" yelled the old woman standing at the podium, shaking her gavel.

Donita only strutted in with her usual cat-like grace, hands on her hips seductively.

"No one gave you permission to come in here!"

"Can it, granny, Donita Donata has just taken over this dump!"

She looked around.

"Seriously, this place is so drab; who decorated it?"

"Um, excuse me?" Said a white haired, but fairly young, gentleman as he stood.

"No one talks to Granny May like that!"

He crossed his arms as Donita approached. With her heels on, they were face to face. She looked him up and down, to which he raised an eyebrow.

"Very nice. Belt, shoes, and pants match; and the shirt contrasts nicely. Although the tie is a bit much, but shows off an eccentric flair."

"Buttering me up, eh? Well, it's not going to work, lady."

"Spunky, and he can spot a real lady when he sees one. Oh, I like him, Dabio! What's your name, darling?"

"You, madam, can call me Doctor Two Brains."

She raised an eyebrow.

"And why are you called that?"

He dropped the confrontational demeanor and proudly showed off the organ protruding from his left frontal lobe. She recoiled a bit, pointing at it with her hand drawn up to her shoulder.

"That… looks like a brain."

"It is a brain! That's Squeaky, my mouse brain."

"Oh, a mouse brain, that's so cool!" Dabio said, excitedly. He carefully extended his finger.

"Go ahead, touch it!"

"Dabio!" Donita yelled, before he could get close enough. He jerked his hand back and straightened up. That was just disgusting! She wasn't going to let him touch that thing!

"Do I want to know?" She asked.

"Well, see, I was-"

"That was a rhetorical question."

He crossed his arms again, picking up his initial defensive stance.

"Oh. And why, exactly, are you interrupting our convention? We don't have all day here!"

"Hmph!" She crossed her arms.

"Well, if you _must_ know, we have a bit of a… goody two shoes situation on our hands, and with a bunch of zesty and well dressed- well, most of you…" She noted the Whammer, dressed in a leotard on top of a wrestling outfit, wearing a lucha mask and a Viking helmet, "…we could outnumber those Wild Kratts and stop them once and for all."

"Yeah, and what's in it for us? We got our own problems! It takes all of us to handle Word Girl, and she's barely out of breath when she's done with the entire Association! And we're like… like… a lot!" He flung his arms out to the side to indicate the entire room, which was nodding in agreement.

"We don't have time to help you with your wildekratts!" He said, merging "wildebeests" and "Wild Kratts".

"Word Girl, huh? And who is that?"

"Hello, she's the local superhero! Little girl, red outfit with a giant yellow shield on the front? There's a star shape in the middle of the shield? She flies around with a monkey on her back, how could you have missed her? What, you been living under a rock or something?"

"Uh, excuse me, Tobey McCallister III here, but Word Girl is _not _a 'little girl'. I'll have you know she's twelve years old, same as me, which no longer qualifies us as 'little children'."

Two Brains didn't even turn in his direction.

"Oh, please, you're just saying that because if she's a little girl, that makes you a little boy, and you wanna pretend to be more grown than you are!"

Donita began examining her nails.

"Excuse me, we are preteens! We have our own category! Ergo, not… little!"

"Uh yeah, you are! The preteen demographic spans from eight to twelve, which includes the ages of eight and ten, which are little children! By extension, you are little children!"

"And by extension, you're a doodyhead, so there!" Tobey crossed his arms and turned away.

"Ooh, I'm _so_ hurt! What am I gonna do now? Hah!"

She waited a moment.

"Are you two finished?"

"Yeah, go ahead." Two Brains said, waving her on.

"I believe I can solve your 'Word Girl' problem, and rather quickly."

To her surprise, nearly the entire room burst into laughter.

"You? Stop Word Girl? That's a good one!" Tobey said, wiping a tear off his face. He was actually laughing so hard he was crying.

"She doesn't know who she's dealing with!" The old woman cackled.

"You gonna wham her with your looks?" the Whammer said (or "whammed", as he liked to interject) between rounds of laughter.

"Listen, lady, if an entire room full of super powered villains can't stop Word Girl, what makes you think you can?" Two Brains asked, attempting to straighten up.

Donita was visibly perturbed, scowling with her fists by her sides and her shoulders drawn up to her ears.

"Give me your best shot!" She demanded.

"Oh yeah guys, the tiny, angry lady's gonna get us good!" He set the room off again.

"You're nothing but skin and bones, look at you!" He started giving her light, playful pinches.

"Pinch, pinch, pinch!"

She growled.

"I outweigh you by about 100 pounds, I bet!"

"Dabio, freeze him!"

"Okay."

Dabio pressed the button and the hovering disco ball positioned itself over the man, casting its pink light over him. Two Brains found himself unable to move anything but his face.

"Hey, wait a minute! What'd you do?"

"Fancy yourself a comedian, huh? How funny is being put in suspended animation?"

"It's not funny, and I think you're confused about what 'suspended animation' actually entails. I'm paralyzed. If I were in suspended animation, I wouldn't be conscious, and my heart rate would be about 5 beats per minute. Will you let me go now?"

"Will you help me get rid of those Wild Kratts?"

"Well, I'm not the person to be asking. Granny May's the leader here."

The senior cackled, directing Donita's attention to the stand.

"You got yourself a deal, baby. Super strength won't help Word Girl get out of that mess!"

Donita grinned.

"You lot help me stop those Wild Kratts, and I'll suspend your Word Girl so fast, she won't know what hit her."

The only one that didn't welcome her afterwards was Tobey, who gave her a questioning frown.

* * *

><p>Donita was back at her jet and on the phone with the other two villains immediately.<p>

"Guys, I'm in. The only thing left for you two to do is help us wrangle up all these do gooders."

"Ooh, I wanna join, can I join too? I wanna be in the Association, it sounds _so_ cool!" Zach said a little too excited for Donita's taste.

"If you can convince them. I got laughed at twice before they let me in, and it took me showing off my suspended animation trick to do it."

"I don't care about no Villain's Association. I just wanna get rid of those Kratt boys once and for all," Gourmand said.

"Although Green Grape has provided me with excellent competition. I might just miss him. I might just keep him in suspended animation as a reminder…" He then cackled to himself. Zach and Donita shared the same look.

"That's stalker-y! You're gross!" Zach objected. Gourmand ignored him.

"First, we have to attract Martino and Chrisangelo's attention."

"I have just the plan." Zach said, grinning and rubbing his hands together.

"You guys let me handle this part."

They all cut transmission. Donita thought for a moment.

"Gourmand may have a point, Dabio. It would be a shame not to see Martino anymore… but at least I'd have a use for him."

"What's that?"

"He would be my male model, of course."

"Oh, like last time!"

"But what is Gourmand going to do with Chrisangelo? Stare at him all day?"

The thought made even her shudder.

_End of Chapter 1  
><em>

* * *

><p>Do you guys want to hear something odd? Suni started calling Chris "Chrisangelo" about six months ago. Not consistently; as a matter of fact, she'd do that, and then yell, "WHY AM I CALLING HIM THAT?", but it's still weird. Heh, when you're creeping out the other villains, you're being creepy. Although, that was pretty much what I had in mind when I wrote Gourmand like that. Just a little gift for Suni…<p> 


	2. Chapter 2

Well, at least I have two reviewers. Then again, Fanfiction really shouldn't obscure the crossovers. They should just list the story in both places instead of where they have it- not many readers think to check the crossover section.

Inspiration! Thanks to BornAgainINChrist- you are so much like a departed (read: absent, not deceased) friend of mine, you may as well be twins. Your energy and spirit are so much like hers that it actually cheered me up a bit. Amazing the things you can do for someone without even trying. :)

"You know, we haven't heard from the villains for a few days," Martin mused.

"Isn't that a good thing?" Jimmy asked.

"Not necessarily," Chris cut in.

"It could mean they're not doing anything, but then again, it could mean they're planning something bigger."

"That's what I'm afraid of," The blonde said.

"Who knows what they could come up with together? If it were just one or two of them we hadn't seen, I'd feel differently, but…"

"I'm sure it's fine, MK," Aviva reassured, moving a box of assorted metal things from the garage to the main area. She placed it on the Miniaturizer and put her fists on her hips.

"They're probably still licking their wounds from last time."

"I hope you're right about that."

"I'm a little concerned, too," Chris said.

"Usually, they're at least taunting us, or trying to pull something without us knowing about it, but this time… just, nothing."

He shrugged.

"I haven't had anything show up on the monitor, either," Koki added.

"This is strange…" Chris said, crossing his arms and looking away as he thought to himself.

"Come on, everything's fine!" Aviva said, turning back to the box of random stuff and going through it.

"If they are up to anything, we'll know soon enough, and we'll stop them, just like we always do."

The brothers shared a look.

'Maybe not if it's a joint effort…' It suggested.

* * *

><p>There was something he wanted to do before he did anything else. As he walked down the street, he noticed the looks he was getting- or lack thereof. Normally, his complexion earned him stares, but here; the populace in general disregarded him and went about their business. That was odd. He stopped at the end of the street, checked the paper in his hand, and then looked at the names on the street sign.<p>

"I am _not_ in the right place."

He went down the list of directions, trying to mentally retrace his steps. Wait, had he taken a left or a right at the end of Compton and Main? He was sure he'd taken a right, but could have indeed taken the left instead. He growled lowly to himself. He'd just have to go back to Compton and Main and double check. That was great, considering that was 3 directions ago.

"_Knew_ I shouldn't have come by myself…"

"Do you need help?"

He flinched, yelping, before grabbing his chest and turning sharply. In front of him stood a child, probably thirteen or so, wearing a green sweater and maroon skirt. The dark skinned girl gave him a friendly smile, hands clasped behind her back. He had to think of Chris at seeing her sweater. Once he was over his shock, he also noticed the monkey standing beside her.

"Agh! Don't scare me like that, little girl!"

"Oh, I'm sorry. It was just that you seemed lost, and I thought I could help you."

"I'm not lost! I'm just… I think I took a wrong turn, is all!"

She knew he was trying to cover, and had to giggle.

"What's so funny?"

"Nothing, you just remind me of someone I know. Where are you headed?"

"If you _must_ know, Compton and Main."

He'd just retrace his steps from there. Besides, it wasn't her business where he was going.

"Oh, you're almost right at it. Just take a right here and the next street is the corner of Compton and Main."

He growled.

"You mean to tell me I went in a circle? **Agh!** I _hate_ being lost!"

He balked, realizing what he said.

"Well, I wasn't really 'lost'…"

Keeping in mind of whom he reminded her, she let him have his dignity.

"Anything else I can help you with?"

"Uh, no, thanks, I think I got it…"

"Oh, one last thing; it's 'have came'. The first person past perfective of 'come' is 'have came'."

He rolled his eyes.

"Whatever. 'Come' as the past perfective is a feature of some dialects, so it's just as right as the standard."

"If you insist…"

She began to walk away. Little know-it-all… he started on his own way. She reminded him of Aviva. In fact, she looked a little like her as well.

"Monkey looked familiar…" he muttered.

On the other side, Bob squeaked and chirped the thought on his mind.

"Yeah, he reminded me of Tobey, too! It's just funny- he's obviously a lot older than Tobey, yet he acted almost just like him. I wonder if we just got a glimpse into the future." She laughed and snorted.

Along the way, she nearly bumped shoulders with the aforementioned boy, and immediately burst into laughter. He only passed her with a questioning look, but let it go, shaking his head.

"Girls are weird."

Down the street, he checked with his paper once more. 1480, this was the address. He folded the paper and put it back in his pockets. He looked up, checking for his three cohorts, to find them exactly where they were supposed to be. Finally, they did something right for a change. Before ringing the doorbell, he peeked in the open curtains. The room was empty, except for a lone, decrepit cat napping on the rug.

"Ugh. Certainly looks like an old people house."

He only shook the thought from his head and rang the doorbell.

"Coming, deary!"

Yup. An old lady lived here alright. Although, she didn't sound nearly as aggressive as he'd been told. It took a while, but the door was finally opened. He managed to restrain himself and not laugh. This was the tough, old lady of whom he was supposed to be afraid? She was about five feet tall and looked around eighty.

"Uh, are you Granny May?"

"Yes I am, dear. Would you like to come in for a spell? I have cookies fresh out of the oven!"

"Ooh, cookies! Okay!"

He eagerly followed her inside.

"You sit right there on the couch, sugar, and I'll get you a big plate of cookies, and some nice, cold milk!"

She smiled as he took his seat and waited somewhat impatiently. As she walked into the kitchen and began gathering the cookies, she cackled lowly to herself.

"What a sucker! I don't know what he's selling, but when Granny May's done with him, he won't be selling nothing!"

She quickly switched back to her sweet, old grandmother ploy and shuffled back into the living room. Sensing trouble, Colonel Mustard raised himself on shaky legs and limped to a safe corner of the room to resume his nap.

"Oh, you're okay, sweetie!" She cooed to him.

"He's grown shy in his old age…" She drew out the word "old", making it sound as pathetic as she could. She placed the plate and glass in front of her visitor, then tucking a napkin into his shirt and patting his chest.

"Oh, you're so thin, dear! You eat all the cookies you want and tell Granny May why you're here."

He happily dug in, holding a cookie in each hand.

"Chocolate chip, my favorite!"

"I'm so glad, sugar plum. Now, why have you come to visit a lonely, old lady?"

Boy, she was laying the "old lady" bit on pretty thick, but Zach was eating cookies, so he ignored it. The cookies were worth it alone. He didn't even bother swallowing what he had in his mouth.

"You run the Villains' Association, right?"

"What?" She asked, lowly, as he drank half the cup of milk then and narrowly avoided choking.

"One of my friends is in the Association and I wanna join too."

She only cocked her head at him, furrowing her brow.

"I've never seen you here before. You do you know?"

"Donita Donata," He said, pausing to stuff his mouth with cookies again.

"Tall lady, burgundy hair, spiky attitude."

"Oh yeah," She said, chuckling.

"Gave Two-Brains a run for his money."

"So can I join?"

"Well, that depends on what your specialty is."

"Robotics and engineering."

"Sorry, position's filled."

He almost choked again.

"What?"

"Sorry, baby, that's just the way the cookie crumbles. Can't have two villains with the same power!"

"I'm better than them, I swear it! My Zachbots can take out anything that loser throws at me!"

He thought she was going to break a rib, laughing so hard.

"I doubt that! Tobey designs his robots to take on Word Girl, and you have no idea what that entails!"

"It doesn't matter! I can out-invent anyone, any day, any where!"

"Alright, alright, sonny, don't get your panties in a bunch. If you want a spot in the Association, you'll have to wrestle Tobey for it. He's not going to just hand his spot over to you."

"We'll see about that!"

He started out of the door. She looked at her watch. 3… 2… 1…

"Uh, where does he live?"

Zach mustered up his best "cute" face.

"Hold on… I think there's a way to make this even more interesting…"  
>-<p>

When Granny May told Tobey what was going on, he couldn't believe it. The nerve! The sheer nerve! He didn't bother riding on a robot. At this point, he felt like he could strangle the jerk that was trying to replace him. In fact, he just might. After all, Word Girl had sent him to jail four times total. He knew that somewhere deep in her, she wanted him. She just didn't know it yet, and if he kept trying, she'd eventually realize her feelings.

Thinking of her calmed him down, although he was still seething. He pushed through the crowd that was waiting for him. He didn't recognize the man standing in the middle of them.

"Wait, are you Tobey? HAH! You're just a kid! There's no way you can out-robot me!"

"We'll see about that! You've no idea with whom you're messing!"

Zach imitated his accent.

"Ooh, so posh; should we take a tea break first?"

Tobey growled as he laughed.

"Robots, attack!"

Zach stopped laughing as he was engulfed in a shadow.

"Aah! Zachbots, do something!"

"Hah! You scream like a little girl!"

"You should talk, Tobey!" Rang a high pitched voice.

"Word Girl! Here to watch me trump this loser?"

"Call it off, Tobey."

"Why? He's trying to take my spot!" Tobey whined.

"What?"

She gently landed beside him. Huggy hopped down and started checking out one of the Zachbots.

"He wants to take my place in the Villains' Association!" Tobey crossed his arms and glared at his competitor.

"Only because she won't let me join with you in it!" Zach said in a tattle-tale tone, pointing out Granny May.

All the sudden, a large crash behind them startled them all. When they turned, one of Tobey's robots had been fell and a Zachbot hovered beside it innocently with its saw arm out. Zach threw his hands up.

"Yay! Does that mean I'm in?"

"That's not fair, Word Girl was distracting me! It was time out!"

"You didn't say time out!"

"It was implied! When the action is interrupted, it's an automatic time out!"

"So? We're all villains here! Since when do we play by the rules?"

Chuck stepped forward.

"Well, we do try to have a united front. Otherwise, how are we ever going to take down Word Girl?"

The other villains nodded.

"Makes sense." Word Girl said.

"So, we have our own code that we go by so that we're not getting in each other's way and stuff," He explained, showing Zach the handbook.

"Ew! A rule book? Where's the fun in that? Never mind!"

He looked around. One of his bots flashed its eyes at him.

"I got what I came for."

"Good. Go home then," Tobey said, crossing his arms and turning away.

"I don't need your stinking Association, anyways! I have my own other villains to hang out with, and they like me just fine!"

"I find that hard to believe."

Zach growled.

"You know what, little boy?"

That got Tobey's attention.

"Maybe I will come back and replace you, just for that! This isn't the last you've seen of Zachary Varmitech, the world's greatest inventor!"

He cackled as his own ship abducted him and flew away.

"Wooo, fancy ship," Two Brains remarked.

"Since nothing happened, are we going to jail?" The Butcher asked.

"Why would you go to jail if you haven't done anything?" Word Girl asked.

"Making sure."

They all started to dissipate, except for Tobey. She rolled her eyes.

"What is it, Tobey?"

"I thought that while we were here, maybe you and I could-"

"No. Huggy and I have tele- I mean, crime to watch. Come on Huggy."

When he didn't jump on her shoulders, she looked around.

"Huggy?"

No response.

"Huggy!" She called louder.

"I don't see him anywhere," Tobey said.

When she turned to him, he looked genuinely concerned.

"One of the others must have taken him, but I don't know what for…" He mused.

"Do you want me to help you look for him?"

"No. They messed with my best friend. This is personal."

She lifted off and was gone with a sonic boom. Tobey pushed his glasses up.

"Yeah, well they messed with my girl. This is extra personal."

* * *

><p>Hmm… who has Huggy, I wonder? Well, I don't, but you do.<p> 


End file.
